14 tweets that got me through the week

Live by the Twitter feed, die by the Twitter feed.

Each week, I gain knowledge. Sure, it might be the fact that nobody else checks their voicemails or what the alleged main ingredient is in a Werther's candy. But it's knowledge nonetheless. They say our Twitter feeds are a reflection of our brains. And by "they" I mean "I."

With that being said, here are the 14 best tweets I saw this week. No, I know. I shouldn't have. But I did.

1. Math? Nah. Math humor? Sure.

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2. Never in my (relatively) young stoner life have I come across anything as relatable as this tweet.

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3. Suddenly, my appetite for Red Lobster is no longer.

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4. The last time I checked my voicemail? It's been 84 years...

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5. Is this what you'd call a Swiftian slip?

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6. So that's why grandmas are obsessed with them!

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7. I'm not sure how to tell you this, but I've watched Dolly Parton sing "I wish I had a nickel" over 19 times this week.

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8. Only true Pirate-heads will relate.

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9. Comparing your leftovers to a picture of Anna Nicole Smith and Jennifer Coolidge? Camp.

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10. Honestly, I haven't slept since Kim Kardashian tweeted at Jack in the Box. WHAT WAS HER COMPLAINT? Sigh. I guess we'll never know.

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11. Neo was ahead of his time.

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12. Please forward this still to every film professor you know.

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13. What goes up, must come ...

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14. Don't ask me why, but Trisha Paytas being compared to delivered packages makes sense.

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It's 2019 and content is king. We need it to survive, really. Our hunger for silly sentiments expressed in 137 characters is relentless. Thankfully, we have Twitter to feed us.